Too many thoughts, too little time.

Archive for February, 2012

Birth Control Laws

I’m sure you’ve heard about the controversy requiring  that free birth control be included in health plans provided to employees of schools, charities and hospitals connected to religiously affiliated institutions. I personally think this is a good thing, but the Catholic Church doesn’t agree with me. They claim this requirement violates freedom of religion.

How?

They aren’t forcing you to put birth control in the water supply of the unknowing sluts. And that is really the part that bothers me most, that there seems to be this assumption if you are using birth control you are a slut. Because all married woman are perfectly happy to have as many children in a row as they can get. Anyway, back on topic. If birth control violates your religious beliefs, don’t take it. Pretty simple actually. However, it doesn’t violate MANY people’s religious beliefs. It doesn’t even weigh too heavily on the conscience of about 90%+ of Catholic woman.It seems to only offend men.

My other issue here is MANY woman take birth control pills for reasons other than to prevent conception. The Catholic Church has decided to accept this reason. I really don’t understand this. So, birth control to stop babies=bad, but birth control to stop babies AND make periods less traumatic=good? Either it is wrong or it isn’t. Anyway, maybe it’s God’s plan you have debilitating periods, deal with it. (Please know I am using sarcasm! I wish their was a sarcasm font.) And, I don’t take BC, I wouldn’t. My family seems to have a bad reaction to hormonal birth control. And, I am lucky enough not to need it for the stereotypical medical reasons, however, I have many other reasons, and I don’t think it should be up to the church to decide if my reasons or valid. Let’s see…why don’t I want more babies? 1. I have giant babies, I really do. And on a 5’3″ frame, an 11 pound, 24 inch newborn is hard! 2. I have difficult pregnancies, followed up by c-sections. With my oldest I was on bed rest, with my younger one, I couldn’t leave the house alone because I would just randomly pass out if I stood up and stood still too long. I would pass out while waiting to pay for my groceries. 3. I am miserable the whole time, I HATE being pregnant. 4. I puke, for like, 6 months. With both kids I weighed less when they were born than when they were conceived. Which is saying something when one of them was almost 11 pounds. 5. Finally, I am in love with an amazing man, who will most likely be my husband within the next year (ok 350 days, but who’s counting?), and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him. Now, if I don’t want more kids, I don’t think he is going to very appreciative of his new wife turning down sex every time she doesn’t want a baby. Because that is always. Not only for the reasons I already mentioned, but also because, having a baby with Aussie basically means I am a single mom of this baby. I will be handling sleepless nights, and crying and screaming, and midnight feedings, and 2 other kids who need my attention all day, all by myself 5 days and nights a week. But, the church wants to tell me these are not good enough reasons to have access to birth control??

And, the argument against BC is that it interferes with God’s plan. I don’t know about your God, but mine is powerful enough to get around my birth control pill, a condom, and even the fact I have my tubes tied if he is so inclined. So, why bother using anything at all then, if I feel this way? Well…I also believe when it is my time to go, it’s my time to go, I still look both ways before I cross the street. It’s my job to take the precautions, if it doesn’t work, then I can figure out why and what now. I don’t just play real life Frogger across the interstate, I don’t think it is God’s job to protect me from my own stupidity.

I don’t think you can say “I’m against abortion” and “I’m against birth control” in the same breath.

I just cannot fathom this whole “well, don’t have sex if you don’t want a baby” attitude. I don’t want a baby, I like sex, and so does Aussie, seems pretty unbiblical to me, once we are married to deprive my husband of sex permanently because we never want a baby. (and yes, you all can feel free to laugh at me, when 5 yrs from now we are panicking because we changed our minds) but anyway, again, when I only get to see my future husband 100 days a year, until he retires, I am not really willing to follow natural family planning rules, turn him down, then send him out of town for a month. But again, the church doesn’t find this a valid reasons to use BC.

Completely ridiculous if you ask me.

And this, not exactly fitting, but funny anyway!

Joy Stealers

This post has been started 4 different times today, and it always starts out one way, then turns into a rambling mess that morphs into something else. I think this is finally it!

I mentioned I go to 2 different churches, 2 different denominations. Neither one really observes Lent, but I like the idea. Even if I wasn’t religious at all. I mean, really think about the things we rely on everyday, the things we use as a crutch, as something to get us through the day. Think of all the things that really take time from our days, and from the important things we have to do. I know so many people will sit here and say “No, not me, everything is very important! I don’t waste time! I don’t have a vice…ok, maybe I do, but it isn’t a big one.”

Which isn’t true. Everyone has things. We do so many things out of habit, not because we truly get any enjoyment out of them. In an instant gratification society, good enough right now is better than great later. What if people really tried to change some habits over the next 40 days? How many of our habits are joy stealers rather than actually beneficial to us?

I can think of so many examples…the guy who can’t lose weight because he’s eating the crappy convenience store pastry on his way to work. Why? Is that helping him in some way? Is it making him happier? I knew a woman who played farmville on Facebook for HOURS a day. She actually made up extra profiles for herself, so she could friend herself, so she would  get ahead on Farmville. I suppose if you asked her why, she would tell you she liked it, it was fun, it was a way to decompress. Except, her attitude was the opposite. She would literally stress herself out when it came time to harvest pretend crops and she wasn’t right there at a computer to do it. She wasn’t getting any joy out of this. It was a habit, just something to do. Why?

There are so many people eating empty calories from McDonald’s because it is fast and cheap. That’s it. Not because they actually enjoy the food. I figured it out, I feed the 4 of us (plus a cat and 3 fish) for about $14/day. I could have more, all I need to do is say the word and the grocery budget will be increased, but it isn’t necessary, we eat well on that $14/day. However, the kids and I do go to McDonalds when they are restless and I have too much homework, the play place and free wi-fi can be a life saver. For us all to eat a meal, it’s about $15. And we usually leave hungry anyway. Why do we do this? Nobody is getting any enjoyment out of that food! Why not save that $15 and use it towards a nice dinner out, or buying steak for Aussie to cook up for us on the grill? I don’t know about you, but yes, I get a huge amount of enjoyment out of a bite of perfectly done steak. Biting into my Big Mac has never brought a smile to my face. For Valentine’s Day we went to a nice restaurant. It was expensive, but the atmosphere was lovely, the music was live, and the food was amazing. Why am I letting McDonalds steal my Club Soda joy? I’m throwing money away for now, rather than saving for real enjoyment later.

These are the thoughts I’ve been mulling over in my head today. I have a wedding coming up! I don’t want to be fat! But, I am continuing to be fat because my habits, that aren’t causing me any happiness are being allowed to control me. No, I don’t want to wake up and run a mile. But, I don’t really want that soda either, and I drink it anyway. Not because it is so delicious, or because it is good for me, just because it’s a habit, and when I don’t have it, I crave it. There is no immediate joy from that drink, and there certainly isn’t a long term one either!At least if I went and ran, I would gain enjoyment eventually from how I looked and from how I felt. To be perfectly honest, I absolutely LOVE when Aussie picks me up and carries me or moves me. I get joy from that. I’d like him to be able to do it for a long time, I don’t want to get too big for him to.

Another thing, I like to sleep in. I do enjoy it. But, it comes with a cost. It comes with the fact that certain portions of my day get wasted. Back to the previous paragraph, I am not going to go jog at night, and I don’t want to this summer in the middle of the afternoon when it’s 100 degrees. So, I need to actually get up and do it. Not only that, but that little bit of joy I get from sleeping in is stolen away when I have to rush to get ready for something, or when I miss out on something because I didn’t get everything else done I needed to. I lose that joy when I don’t have enough hours in my day. I lose that joy when I have to be up early for a court appointment, and freak out and sleep poorly all night because I’m watching the clock, worried I will sleep right past the time I need to be awake.

So, for Lent this year, I’m not really giving up something tangible. I am just trying to change a mindset. I don’t want to deprive myself, but I’m tired of being like a 3 yr old taking the bigger nickle rather than the smaller dime because I can’t see past right now, because I only want what looks good right now. Somehow I have convinced myself that taking the smaller dime is deprivation, and it isn’t. So, for lent I am changing some habits, and hopefully giving up some of my sleeping in. I guess you could say, for Lent, I’m attempting to give up some of my joy thieves.

Let’s Jump Right In-Gay marriage

A lot of my material comes from Facebook, because I have my news feed littered with comments. Half are “protect the sanctity of marriage, ban gay marriage” .the other half are photos of men in rainbow speedos hugging each other next to a photo of Newt Gingrich with a split caption “Together 20 yrs/married to mistress #3”

I am  ambivalent about gay marriage in my personal feelings. From a legal standpoint, I think it should be allowed. But, the thing that most confuses me is the arguments against gay marriage. Sin is sin, if you are a Christian Bible believer, or I was under the impression it should be. I think this is one of those things that has become the hot button issue because they aren’t a problem for most the people against them. Right-wing “Look what a good Christian I am! Gays! Bad! Sin! Illegal I say!” and that is EASY to say, because that person isn’t gay. They are married to a person of the opposite gender, as are all their children. It is a great show, without any real commitment. It somebody who only LIKES vegetables being complimented on their will power when they never eat Doritos. It’s not will power, it’s not you being good. It’s just how you are.

Just seems to me like, if you really want to take a stand and protect the sanctity of marriage, then these long term happily married couples should take a newlywed couple under their wing to help them, to give them someone to talk to. But they don’t. Rather than protesting homosexual marriage, why aren’t they volunteering for premarital counseling help at their church? Rather than stand on street corners with signs, why aren’t then protesting the man serving communion who is married to the woman he left his wife for 3 years ago. If being gay is a sin, and you have to take a stand, because they aren’t sorry! They keep doing it! Well…the man who is married to his mistress is comitting adultery the entire time he is married to her. Where is the outrage? Why isn’t he being saved? Having been cheated on, I think that was far more painful, and more damaging to our marriage than 2 men getting married ever could be.

Why the hatred? Why protest gay marriage rather than support straight marriage? Why is it easier to be hateful than loving?

I recently saw this posted

Really? Seriously? This is God’s love?

If we are going to pull random laws out of the Bible, I’m glad nobody is trying this one

I wasn’t a virgin for the first one, and I won’t be one for the second either, I’d really prefer not to be stoned, thank you very much.

I looked and looked but cannot find the picture I saw recently, it was a man holding a protest sign that said “Homosexuals are worth of death! Romans 1:24-32”

Would you like to see the whole text of the verse?

Romans 1:24-32

New International Version (NIV)

 24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25 They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

28 Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. 29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31 they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

So, who would like to throw the first stone?

Thanks For Stopping By!

I will start this blog off with an about me and a why I’m writing.

I’m Punkie. Not my real name, my real name is far too easy to search by the people I am trying to hide from. No, I’m not in any danger, just don’t feel like being told what a horrible person I am. Why Punkie you ask? Because it’s what my boyfriend accidentally started calling me when his mouth moved faster than his brain and he merged Pumpkin and Honey; I liked it, so it stuck. Speaking of Boyfriend, he is Brad, or Aussie, or Mr. Wonderful. We’ve been together for about 2 yrs now. I also have 2 little boys, Monster 1 (he’s 8) and Monster 2 (he’s 6). Monsters are the fortunate outcome of an extremely unfortunate relationship with a man (and I use the term loosely) we will call DA…Dumbass. I honestly wish I was being snarky here, but, I’m not. I’m sure you’ll understand eventually. And a year old bad luck cat, who I have as kind of a “eff you” to superstition, and it seems to have worked (knock on wood).

I go to school full time and then some. I raise the boys. I homeschool the kids. I clean the house. Brad works out of town 5 days a week, but I no longer consider myself a single mom. That topic is a blog post for the future though.

I started this because many times I feel I need to keep my mouth shut on many things, especially religion and politics because I don’t want to offend my friends either on the far left or the far right. Everyone assumes I agree with them, and I rarely do. I don’t want to state things on my facebook page because far too often nobody can disagree without resorting to name-calling, insults, or “just because”. So, here, you have to seek me out. You don’t have to read if I offend you. A lot of my opinions tend to be contradictory, which makes it hard to fit in anywhere.

For example: I homeschool. So, I am automatically, 90% of the time a religious, right-wing, gun toting, mad woman, who won’t allow her children to socialize with anyone “different”, and I would let the kids go to public school if only they would put God back in it. 90% of the time, I am also assumed to be a timid woman, in a mid-calf length jumper, turtleneck sweater, Crocs, with waist length hair pulled into a bun. We drive to church in my minivan. My children are then assumed to be robotic drones, taught to say nothing but “Yes Ma’am”, but only for a couple years, until I, as a woman, am no longer in charge. I believe they are assumed to also only have bowl haircuts, large, black framed glasses, and pants 5 inches too short, because “God only cares what is on the inside”.

Yes, this is the sterotype:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZaCiP2_2RM

In actuality…I go to 2 different churches, I have some issues with both, but I enjoy the sermons. One is very traditional, one is very modern. Hymns and rock bands. (See the contradictions coming already? And we’ve barely gotten started!) And, to make it more amusing, I’ve spent the last 5 years pretty much hating God. We are finally on speaking terms again. And my prayers rarely consist anymore of walking around the living room screaming at the ceiling, which is improvement. Anyway, back to that homeschooling thing, I have major issues with public schools, the least of which is whether or not God is in it. My children socialize with anyone and everyone, in fact one church we go to is about 85% people from other countries, so, I think they are getting MORE diverse socialization than they would at the cookie cutter school down the road, where they will hang out with their neighbor. I am not timid in anyway, quiet, yes. Timid, no. I only own calf length clothing because I am short and that is where knee length hits. I am not even sure I own a turtleneck. I think Crocs are a marvelous alternative to birth control and when my pink streaked hair gets past my shoulders, I get killer headaches, so, it is usually fairly short. I also have 7 ear piercings, an a nose ring, but look generally pretty normal. The boys have blue and green mohawks and no glasses, and generally ripped up jeans, because they like them, and tennis shoes with skulls on them. Oh, and we live with my boyfriend. I think mini-vans are evil. He drives a Wrangler, and I drive a cross-over SUV/Truck.

My favorite story about people making assumptions was back when I was dating a guy my friends called Train Wreck. He went on a half hour long rant one day about how weird homeschoolers were, how awkward and socially stunted they were, how it was on par with child abuse, how he could never even be friends with someone who didn’t go to school, etc. When he finally wound down, I sweetly asked “They why do you keep going out with me?” I also was homeschooled. The look on his face was priceless.

Anyway, back on topic. This blog is mostly to say all the things I can’t in around too many people. But it will also have funny stories, and anecdotes, and some travel blog too. Come  on, stay, follow me, you might like me.

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