Nobody ever really visits me, or calls. I’m not complaining or throwing a pity party. I’m an introvert, I don’t need my phone or door bell ringing all the time. On the rare occasion people remember me, it’s because they want something, which kind of pisses me off, but, i’m getting better at saying “no”.
It used to bother me. I thought, obviously, I wasn’t making enough effort, I needed to go out and visit and call and chat. So, I did. I visit my family members. I used to go out for coffee with my mom every Wednesday. I used to try harder. I really only started trying harder because my parents complained they never saw me. So, I made sure they saw me. But, they never made sure they saw me.
A change in circumstances got me out of the weekly coffee meeting. I am really busy lately, school for either the boys or me fills a lot of my time. Workout fill a lot of my time. Babysitting my best friend Ann’s baby fills a lot of time. Piano lessons and cross country, and football takes up time. Cleaning and cooking don’t do themselves either. Plus, Aussie and I are fairly reclusive on weekends. We get so little time together as it is, and even less time as a whole family, so we keep to ourselves a lot.
Anyway, I had that big thing a few weeks ago with mom. She doesn’t seem to understand how mad I am. I don’t think I care. But, she sent me a message last night, asking me if I was going to come over today. I said no, I was busy. Today she replied with “missing you”.
I live in a decent size city. 300,000+ people. We have stores and places to eat and 5 library branches and 5 YMCAs, 4 or 5 decent hospitals, and hockey games and just stuff. I live within a 10 minute walk of the grocery store. So, unless I’m traveling quite far, there isn’t a whole lot of reason for me to leave this town. My parents live 35 minutes north, in the middle of a bunch of farm land. But, not in an idyllic sort of way, more of a surrounded by highway and factories and 6 guys who have managed to hang on to their families land while things build around it. The town is 5 miles away, and once you are there, there are maybe 25,000 people, I think. So, I really have no reason to ever go there, except to see my family. It isn’t like i have to go there to go to the one Costco in the area or anything. There is nothing there that isn’t here.
However, they are in my town 3-5 times a week. Often times, shopping at the grocery store literally a mile down the road. But, nobody visits. They came over maybe 8 weeks ago? To have Aussie set up the voice mail on their new cell phone. A month before that to pick up their kid who had stayed the night. If you ask why they don’t visit, they are quick to tell you it is because I’m always out of town. Because apparently my phone doesn’t work for them? I am out of town less than Aussie is, yet I still manage to see him weekly. When they do visit, my mom usually takes one of my coffee cups home with her because she can’t make the 30 min drive without ice water. And she takes a nap on my couch. So, I’m not annoyed they don’t visit. I’m annoyed they want me to put all the effort in. They can drive an hour north to an even smaller town, to see the sister who drives truck for a living, because she hasn’t been home for 6 weeks. But, 3 minutes after the grocery store is too much bother.
The road actually goes both way.
Edited to add:
I did write an e-mail…
I guess we’ll see what the fallout is.