My family and my tiny house.
My family is huge, and untangling is not an easy feat. I have a brother in law I love to death, Mike. He’s married to evil sister.
Mike is living on our couch for the week. I’m not sure what after that.
I see no reason to be mean or hurtful to Mike. I actually have no intention of being mean to evil sister.
I deleted my family from various social media sites while back. So, I missed the exciting start of yesterday.
Where calm, cool, and kind of wimpy Mike outted my sister, and her affair, to her 1200 friends.
You know why evil sister got that name? She’s mean first of all. But, as my marriage was falling apart, she was SOOOOOO in love with Mike, and their lives would be prefect and they would get married and ride off into the sunset together, and God would bless them because they were virgins, and that is why my X and I had so many problems, we didn’t wait till we were married. When my ex cheated, it was my fault, I could have/should have been a better wife. She knew exactly how she would keep Mike happy every moment of every day, and they would never deal with that.
When she found condoms in my bathroom, I was a whore.
When I got dressed to go to work, where I was a bartender, she lectured me about how I must have such low self esteem if I was going to show strangers my cleavage.
And, when I refused to change clothes, she tried to convince my parents, whose car I was borrowing at the time, that I was racing their Wrangler, I was irresponsible, I was the reason it was having a problem, and she really needed it more, so she could get to church, while her husband worked. And…IT WORKED.
I spent many, many years, being called a whore by her and told I was going to hell.
And, I held my head high, and moved on with my life, and am in a good place. I let my life and my actions speak for themselves, and I quit taking the bait she was giving.
Yesterday, Mike found out ES has been cheating on him, for about a year. He found out months ago, but was assured it had stopped. It hadn’t. He found out it was still going on, he found out about other guys. And, he left. ES said she’s not sorry, the other man is her one true love, she never loved Mike. she doesn’t see any reason to try to work it out, she planned to leave him once he was done paying for her degree anyway, her plans just got pushed up a bit.
She called the other man’s wife. Who is 7 months pregnant. And, basically taunted her, saying OM didn’t love her, otherwise he wouldn’t cheat. He would stay, but not be happy. And, he could cheat whenever he wanted, because the wife would never leave and he knew it.
Sis decided to do damage control and come tell me first. She was too hysterical to understand at first, but soon I realized the tears were from embarrassment and losing her boyfriend. I bit my tongue. I didn’t gloat. I told her she was wrong, about everything. I told her I was sorry to hear that she’d done that to her kids. I told her the OM was not a true love, and she wasn’t special. She asked me a couple general divorce questions, and then she left.
So, we called Mike. He came over late last night. He ranted for a few hours, then we told him he needed to sleep, and everybody went to bed.
He’s a wreck.
I’m going to Cleveland tomorrow, otherwise the husband might be concerned about him being here. But, Mike needs someplace. The things she said to him were designed to be as hurtful as possible.
I went with him today to get his car and her wedding ring. I guess my whole family is telling him that he can win her back, don’t give up. I’m the only one who said “pawn the ring, file the paperwork, she can win you back if she realizes her mistakes.” and he’s thanked me for it.
A friend said “well, I hope you helping him doesn’t cause a division in your family.” You know, there already is. And, I’ll take Mike’s side and deal with the fallout, if any.
Though, today as I helped Mike load his things, my brother pulled me aside.
“I’m impressed Punkie. You are cool and calm and even being nice. But, don’t pretend,there is a huge part of you inside that is thrilled this is how ES’s life is turning out.”
No…not thrilled. Sad for Mike and their kids. And, I guess, there is a part of me that wants to say “I told you so”. There is a lot of me wanting to say “What the hell? I was single with a boyfriend, and I was a whore? But, you can commit adultery, with another married person WITH A PREGNANT WIFE and that’s cool? You can use Mike and then trash him? You owe a lot of apologies.”
But, I don’t think I’ll ever get one, because she’s different, and this is special, and I don’t understand. And, trying to get one just stays entangled with the crap. So, I will help Mike, because he is rightfully devastated. And, he needs a sofa and a hug more than I need a battle over who is more of a slut.
Mike did apologize for the crap she’d said, which was sweet, but not his responsibility.
My house always seems big enough for one more. And my family just isn’t worth any of my time or efforts. Two facts that are being driven home more and more often lately.