Ugh, Stop It

I keep seeing this kind of thing floating around Facebook. And, it annoys me.

“Escaping the consequence”

So, I am on medication to control my MS. It’s actually pretty nasty stuff. LOTS of warnings about DO NOT GET PREGNANT while on this. If I get pregnant they will ask how long I want to wait to be the mother of a dead baby.

Abortion is selfish, right?

Guess what? I’m not going to end up with a live baby, no matter what.

So, if I get pregnant, I can continue the pregnancy, and I will actually, most likely feel great. Best I have on years. Pregnancy seems to push MS in remission. But, that’s not selfish. If I decided to have a baby, who will suffer throughout it’s short life, that is noble. Ending the suffering is selfish. What? How does that work? How is it not selfish for me to continue a pregnancy that will make me feel better, but result in suffering for the baby?

If I don’t want to deal with this, then I shouldn’t have sex, or so I’ve been told.

Yes, my husband will be thrilled with that option for the next 20 yrs. As a matter of fact, I’m not real happy about it either. I’m married. I’m actually allowed to enjoy sex, with my husband. I’m supposed to.

Ok, so, be careful.

I have my tubes tied. But, there are lots of people out there who have parents who took precautions not to have them.

So, if I get pregnant and decide to have an abortion it is me “deciding not to face the consequences”. Really?

So, my husband is seriously looking in to having surgery to prevent this as well.

Back when we were just dating, a baby would have been terrible for us. We were just bf/gf. And, we discussed “what if” and it was a no brainer. If I got pregnant, then we’d have to figure out how to raise a baby together. This is the situation usually referred to as “they just don’t want consequences”. No…we didn’t really. We weren’t married. We were kind of, sort of, talking engagement. I was working 3 job just to take care of my 2 boys. I was going to school full time trying to get a degree. He was gone all day every day except weekend. He wasn’t around. We didn’t have a house big enough for a family of 5. And,it didn’t matter.

Now? take away the medicine issue. Brad’s home more. I’m a stay at home mom. We have plenty of space. I have health insurance now. It’s not about being irresponsible and not wanting to face the consequences. But now…the issue isn’t quite so clear cut. I just know that before it was “absolutely not, never, ever.” and now it’s “we’d really have to think about it.”

Plus, lets get rid of this whole medication issue. I’m tired of the pro-life side acting like this is a “keep your legs closed, slut” issue. I hate that “you just want to avoid consequences for your actions.”

Yes, yes I do. That’s why I had my tubed tied. And if it fails?

The best analogy I can come up with for this argument is I buy a house. A bank error causes it to go in to foreclosure. I can PROVE I’ve made all my payments, all the paperwork is in order on MY side. But, they still come with the sheriff and kick me out. So, i’m crying on the lawn while people the Pro-Bank Rights crowd shouts “You just want to avoid consequences for your actions. maybe you should have paid the mortgage if you wanted to live there.” I say “I did! I did everything right! I paid the mortgage, I had insurance…what actions am i supposed to be paying for?” and they say “Well…uhhh….you moved in, didn’t you? if you hadn’t moved in, you couldn’t be kicked out.” Except that’s what you are supposed to do when you own a house! So, this crowd goes down to protest outside the court house that homeowners illegally kicked out of their homes cannot sue the banks because “there is probably a lesson to be learned here. They should thank God for the opportunity.”

Which action am I supposed to be paying for? For my birth control failing? For having sex with my husband? For getting MS?

Let me make sure I say this, I am not pregnant. Like I said, I had surgery. And, my husband has been seriously contemplating do that as well, because he doesn’t want to make the decision of what to do now…or make me make the decision. So, this is all just hypothetical, and will most likely stay that way. But, it makes me mad, because for how many people is it a real thing? Anti-choice/pro-lifers will say things like “well, we understand when it’s for the health of the mother.” it wouldn’t be for my health. Or the signs “abortion doesn’t make you not pregnant, it makes you the mother of a dead baby.” guess what? in this scenario, I would be anyway.

So, can people please quit assuming abortion is only an issue for 19 yr old girls who like to sleep around? Please? It’s a real issue, for a lot of women. And, it doesn’t have to have anything to do with being selfish. Or avoiding consequences. But, you’d have to talk to people to know that. You’d have to build a relationship to get the real story, and it’s easier to hold a sign or post stupid crap on Facebook.