Too many thoughts, too little time.

Posts tagged ‘motherhood’

For the Good of the Kids

My semester ends Wednesday. One more math test. I have fought and struggled. Last night I took the final math quiz 4 times. There were almost 100 questions on it. I took it over and over until I ran out of time. I’m getting a B overall. If I can just pass this last test. Then, one more semester.

Today I would like to say, if I never hear the words “best for the kids” again, it will be too soon.

It’s the “cuz God” argument all over again.

The moment you say something is best for the kids, or because God said, you have shut down the conversation. You have made anyone who disagrees with you a bad person, because they don’t care about “the good of the kids”.

I see it ALL the time on the infidelity board I am a member of. People go on and on and on about how whatever they want is for the good of the kids. “I want to put my kid in soccer, it’s what’s best for the kids. But, my ex won’t drive him to practice!” Somebody says “Then you drive him.” and all of a sudden it is “NO! I will NOT drive him. My ex is a parent too, and he doesn’t just get to run off into the sunset, and I’m not doing it all on my own, and he can waste his own gas, let his whore see  how much works kids really are!”

Ummm…what happened to “best for the kids”?

The best advice I can give someone going through a divorce, or trying to raise kids while divorced is this:

Your spouse is dead. That person you loved and trusted, who could never hurt you? Completely dead. You are now single, and unfortunately the only babysitter you can find at times, while free, is a person who looks oddly like your ex. There is no past to discuss with this stranger.

I know, you are sitting there thinking “I’m just supposed to let them get away with the things they did to me?” No, you are supposed to know that, they will never see that they did anything to you. When you go nuts, they will feel justified in all the things they did. His new gf and he will giggle over his crazy ex and how you deserved all he did. And really…if it is REALLY all about the kids, then, why complain about picking them up from soccer? Why are you concerned about punishing your ex?

I get blasted by my friends fairly often because I am willing to pick up the kids on Sundays around my ex’s work schedule. And, I shouldn’t do that, I should stick to the schedule, he’s just making me do whatever he wants, he needs to see there are consequences for the things he has done, I am not supposed to just drop everything so he doesn’t have to find a babysitter.

Again, I thought it was all about best for the kids. And, isn’t it best that they come home when their dad has to go to work? Or is it better for them to stay with whoever he’s sleeping with this week, and constant changing rules? Best for the kids says they can come home, where their things are, where they are comfortable, where they are with people who love them.

Do what you want, but quit pretending it is all “for the kids”.

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Feeling Let Down

I struggle to write what is on my mind, because I feel like it makes me sound so…stuck up? Full of myself? I’m not sure, I’m just fairly sure I don’t come across as I would like to, as I mean to.

You know the Bible verse, the one about leaving your parents and cleaving to your spouse?  We are still in the newlywed category, and to be honest, I didn’t expect either family to make it quite so easy. Neither one of us has a huge amount of friends, but, we both have huge families. And, I think we are both feeling sad and dissapointed lately.

 

Yeah, exactly how I’m feeling.

I won’t tell Aussie’s story, because it isn’t mine to tell. But, I will tell some of mine. I started algebra this semester. I’ve taken this class 4 or 5 times. I fail every time. I’ve taken the remedial math, I’ve done all the homework, and then some. I’ve been to tutoring, I’ve asked for help, I’ve spoken to the teachers. I just don’t get it. So, I try again.

And, this class is now bringing up HUGE feelings of disappointment and resentment towards my family. My parents especially.

I was homeschooled. I never got much of a reason why. Actually, let me rephrase, I had a continuously changing reason why, that ebbed and flowed with the passing trends that made public schools “bad”. When I could counter their arguments, I was told that was never the reason, they never said that, and the real reason was XYZ. What are some of these reasons?

  • I was too smart for public school.
  • I was bored.
  • I might be around bad influences.
  • Prayer has been taken out of schools.
  • God has been taken out of schools.
  • They teach evolution!
  • I was unhappy there, apparently.
  • My sister hated going to school, so obviously it was bad.
  • School shootings!!!
  • God told them to take me out of school.
  • Public schools were/are sinful and God commands us not to sin just because it is popular.

I am sure there are a lot more, but, you get the idea. Homeschooling to my mom meant she slept in until 11, talked to her friend on the phone for a couple hours a day, handed me a stack of books and told me I was responsible for independent study. I have a 17 yr old brother who is practically illiterate, and a sister I think may have dyslexia. But, nobody must know, you can’t get help, because then people MIGHT think you aren’t doing things right and put the kids in school!

I ran away when I was 12ish. I told them my dad was abusive, and my parents were not home schooling us. They were handing over books, and only noticing when pages were completely blank. Nothing ever got checked. I told them about my siblings. I told the police, I told CPS, I told the judge, I told family. I was terrified, and a child. My parents would call me, screaming “You’re a fucking liar!” Nobody ever asked to see the books, nobody ever checked in on anything. My grandma had to put me in therapy to get me past the “family therapy” my parents put me in. Which consisted of all 3 adults calling me a liar, and trying to get to the root cause of why I was a liar. Except I wasn’t.

3 months later the judge sent me home. Did I mention, the judge was friends with my parents? Yeah, stupid preteen me didn’t know enough to point out how wrong this was. We started going to his church a few months later.

So, I went home. Nothing changed on the school front, but, my dad got less abusive, especially to everyone else, so, I counted at least that part as well worth all the trouble. And, I decided I was getting out of there. I did my homework, I struggled through math. When I asked for help, my parents told me they didn’t understand. When I asked for them to get me help, we couldn’t afford it. When their friends offered to help, my parents complained about how far it was to drive, and how if I was struggling so bad, maybe I could just skip the ONE youth group activity I was allowed a month so I could study more. So, when 14 yr old me was offered this choice, obviously, I choice to skip tutoring. Which, obviously meant, I understood the work, I just wasn’t willing to do it. My junior year of high school, I took the answer book. My mom never noticed. It wasn’t to cheat, it was to check my work, then to rework it until I understood it. I spent hours working on this. Nobody ever knew.

I graduated a yr early, and got a full ride scholarship to the big state school. It was the worst thing I ever did. Because, my parents have spent the last 10 yrs saying that obviously they do an amazing job at homeschooling, and obviously it is superior to all other schooling, because, well, look at Punkie.

Oddly, they never mention Punkie flunked out her first semester. Got ALL Fs.

They never mention Punkie has failed algebra 5 times now. And, has no idea what is going on, no idea how to understand. The ass backwards ways I taught myself in high school are screwing me over now.

You know, I’ve spent the last 15 yrs trying to take responsibility for my failures, trying to own my own shit, trying to not blame others. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of taking responsibility for problems that I didn’t cause.

I cringe whenever I see one of my siblings facebook posts. My one sister is trying to start a photography business, and has a page for it. Nothing is spelled right. My other sister works at Salvation Army because the pay is amazing. My little brother had to take the ASVAB test 4 times before he BARELY got a high enough score to get into ANY military branch. My other brother, the 17 yr old, reads the helicopter books I bought for my 8 yr old when he thinks nobody is looking. But, never any other book.

I have another younger brother, he’s a teenager, and yesterday I told my mom, over the weekend I did about 250 math problems. I was assigned 60, but I am really trying to pass. My mom said “I guess we know who can help with math now!” then she tells me about my brother, how he’s so good at math. He never follows the instructions, but gets the right answer. Just like me. I told  her, that is really, really causing problems for me now. I explained why. She laughed and said “Well, I just have to get him through high school, college can teach him what he really needs to know.”

I could have about cried.

I’ve offered to teach the kids. If you look at my kids school work…I spend HOURS every week, preparing for the next week. I spend hours teaching them, going over things over and over again. I actually grade all the work. I have a lesson plan. I have a base curriculum and add to it, to make my own, making some things more difficult. Adding pages where I know they struggle. I’ve offered…my mom doesn’t want to spend the gas money. Her and dad can go out to eat a few times a week, but, can’t spend $4 a day to bring the kids over for help.

I’m so angry that I am paying for their choices now. I’m so angry that nobody listened to me when I tried to get help. I’m so angry that it is too late for my siblings. I’m angry that my family is almost PROUD of being ignorant. Of the fact they don’t need no college. I’m angry my brothers don’t even realize how much they don’t know. I’m angry they have been unknowingly sentenced to a lifetime of factory work or retail, without their consent. I’m angry that I struggle so much with some of these subjects, but, I certainly can’t complain, because then I hear about how if I was really concerned I would have studied and not signed the boys up for sports, so I would have more time. And, I’m angry all the times I do well, I am held up as the poster child for all the great things about homeschooling. My parents had nothing to do with any of the things I am good at. I taught myself! I had to!

You know what? I’m not that freaking special or smart or successful. Actually, I take it back, I am smart. I decided to do better, and I did. But, I somehow saw there was more to life than what my parents taught us. I’m the only one who did. I’m not special, I’m not successful. I look like it. I look like a spoiled brat most the time. I’ve got a great relationship, and two kids that are somehow amazing, in spite of all they have been through. And, I can’t even talk about my life, because I sound so stuck up. I just got back from a trip to Montana, right after the trip to Florida, and I leave for a cruise in about 6 weeks. I’ve got a Tiffany box sitting on my coffee table, and a pile of clothes with the tags still on them. I went out for coffee almost every day this summer. And, I’m not saying this to brag, I’m not. I’m using to to show, how “look at Punkie!” has become a source of pride for my parents. They miss that they coerced me into marrying an abusive asshole the first time. They don’t seem to get it… all this great stuff? It has NOTHING to do with me, nothing. It is a result of Aussie’s success. HIS parents can use it as an argument for homeschooling. Mine can not. Because, it has NOTHING to do with me, and FAR less to do with them and their teaching skills. And to be honest, a huge majority of my spoiled persona has cost us practically nothing. Airlines give lots of free perks, as do hotel chains, and rental car companies. When the company pays for the Starbucks, and you can give your wife the card, she gets the free syrups and refills and extra perks. So, again, I’d like to say, don’t judge me too harshly on this one, because if the company Aussie worked for didn’t allow him to keep the perks, and instead made him use frequent flier miles to get to work, or that sort of thing, we would look exactly like every other young couple with a couple kids.

I do’t even know what the point of writing this was. I just needed to get it all out. I am so angry and so resentful right now. I feel like I’m outgrowing my family and it’s a lonely feeling.

Not Everyone Fits Into Your Mold

Looks about right to me.

I was at the library today doing my usual walk through.

Step 1. Return the books I could have sworn I returned last week.

Step 2. Browse the mystery “fluff”. You know, the cheap soft cover books you buy at garage sales for $0.50.

Step 3. Stumble upon the true crime section. Decide which serial killer you want to read about this week, because no week is complete without at least one night where you get up 7 times to make sure you locked the doors.

Step 4. Remember that the library is actually a good place to learn things, and might help with this whole homeschooling thing. Find the education section.

Step 5. Remember why you avoid this section.

I wanted a book, something like “What Your 1st Grader Needs to Know”. I am trying to get a plan in place for this school year, something that will tell me “if your kid doesn’t know how to read Dr Seuss by the end of the year, you’re doing something wrong.”

I do not need “Why Public School Damages Your Child.” I don’t need “The Biblical School Year”. I don’t want “Teaching Your Kids God’s Way.” I don’t care about “Good Answered to Common Arguments!” I also don’t need any of the 75 variations of “School Your Child For FREE!”

I don’t care to read the first 3 chapters about how you met your husband and married him the day you turned 18 so you could become a baby factory, as is “God’s plan” for your life. I don’t care about the next 2 chapters where the author makes sure to remind us, over and over, to utilize our husband’s brilliance and have him help, or even send the kids to work with him for the day, for “real world experience” I don’t care to be warned about the dangers lurking on the internet for both our immature child and our easily led into temptation husbands.  I am not concerned with a book written in  comic sans being my reminder I should go to church whenever the doors are unlocked, and I also am not worried about the fact my sons have “girl” chores, like unloading the dishwasher.

I am bothered by the assumption that EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON who chooses to home school their children is obviously a married, broke, stay at home mother, whose husband has a 9-5 job and is a conservative Christian.

We’re starting our 4th year of this. I have been a single mom for all of it so far, though, that does change this year. I’ve been a working mom for a lot of it as well. I’ve been a full time student through at least half of it. I didn’t have all day everyday to devote to making sure they recited prayers correctly. Now, I’m married. My husband is brilliant. And, he doesn’t really get a chance to help me, because he’s never home. I suppose I could send the kids to work with him, but, that involves 3 plan tickets, a week away, and not even getting to see most of it, due to privacy laws.

I don’t wish to argue with people about how they should/should not teach their kids. I don’t care to hear about the “evil” public school system, because, I already made my decision, I don’t need further convincing. I hate the condescending tone of most “answers to arguments” books. No, I don’t think I am going to help make people understand when my response to “What about socialization?” is “I know, why don’t you let your kids be around more people of varying ages? Obviously, your kids are anti-social.” I want to know what the state requires of me, and what they expect of the kids. I want to know what skills will help advance them in life, I honestly do not care about doing this “God’s way”, mainly because I think most people who make that claim know as much, if not less than I do. Unless they have a divine telephone and God’s direct extension number, they don’t know!

As far as doing it for free, don’t get me wrong, I like a good deal as much as the next person. But, if all I was concerned about was the cost of my kid’s education, I would send them to public school, that my tax dollars have already paid for. And guess what? “Wait for back to school sales!” is not exactly ground breaking new information.

And for all the “my husband is head of the house” writing, there is a lot of things that imply your husband is just another kid, but this one brings home a paycheck. No, I have more respect for my husband than that. I don’t need to ban everyone in the house from the internet because the call of the XXX is too strong for his man brain to resist. He knows how I feel about this sort of thing, I trust him to respect my feelings, and so far, he has.  I go to church because I enjoy it, I take the kids. I don’t think it is necessary to have reading practice for my 3rd grader be Proverbs, when I am trying to instill a love of reading in him, and his attention is held much better by the “All About Ferrari” book. We have managed to have some lovely child led philosophical and theological discussions, that I don’t think could have been planned into our day.

Maybe I should write a book. A book for non-super religious, slightly off traditional families who home school. One that is for tips, info and resources, but doesn’t assume that I am a conservative Christian, that doesn’t assume I hate public schools, that doesn’t assume I want to change anyone’s mind. Maybe one that doesn’t assume everyone is married with a minimum of 3.5 kids and a husband who is only slightly more intelligent than the average idiot, but, who you obey because God says so.  But, days like today, I feel there is a market of one for that book, and why would I need to buy it if I wrote it?

Really?! That is your concern?

I’m sure most of you have heard about the shooting at the midnight showing of the new Batman movie. This story is just horrific. There are many, many reactions to it that I can understand, but, I can not understand, ,at all, some people.

The ones who say “Why was there a 6 yr old and a 3 month old in the theater at midnight?”

Then, somebody gives a valid reason, or at least an understandable one, and the original posters say “I don’t care! What about their little ears? Movies are loud!” Um…movies are the same volume whether they are on at noon or midnight.

Then, there is the barrage of posts about how children don’t belong in theaters because they make noise and ruin the experience.

TWO CHILDREN WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A MASSACRE ! I really don’t give a crap about your “movie experience” with the crying baby when it could have been SO much worse.

Which is it anyway? Movies are too loud for babies or babies are too loud for movies?

A three month old is pretty portable and will sleep most the time, especially that late.

And, guess what? It is the parent’s job to raise the child, not yours, random stranger who has nothing better to worry about than why a 6 yr old was at the movies “too late”.

I am so sick of this anti-child attitude people seem to have. I have two boys, and they are GOOD boys. We spent 1600 miles in the car last week, PLUS two 5 hour plane rides. They were almost perfect, the whole time. They are 6 and 8. Guess what? I didn’t get to special order them that way. They didn’t reach a point where the switch was flipped and they had instant good manners and social awareness. They didn’t have subliminal messages pumped at them while they were sleeping. I took them out, I took them with me. I expected them to behave, and when they didn’t there were consequences. Maybe we did end up leaving a movie we had just paid $20 to see, but, we didn’t have to do it more than once or twice.

Yes, a kid will cry, and one will kick the back of your seat, and one may spill his drink under your feet at the diner while you and your wife are having a serious conversation. But, that is what kids do. And if the parents ignore it, it is the parents with the problem, not the kids. If the mom doesn’t think twice about her screaming baby during the show, she probably won’t mind texting during it when she’s by herself. If the dad doesn’t stop the kid from kicking, he’s probably the one who reclines his airplane seat into your lap at the start of the 4 hour flight. Children aren’t born with manners, they have to be taught, and you can’t teach them by locking them in their rooms with an xbox and expecting them to know how to behave when you let them out however many years later are acceptable.

I love this, really. Yes, as a matter of fact, I will let my well behaved 6 yr old go to the midnight showing, as a reward for working his little behind off right beside us grown ups all day. And, guess what? That doesn’t freaking mean ANYONE has the right to shoot at him. It doesn’t matter what time my kid is at the movies, it should be a safe place, and if tragedy should strike the appropriate response it “I’m so sorry, my thoughts are with you and your family.”

NOT “your kid shouldn’t have been there anyway.”

Update to There is Nothing Wrong with that Child

Is that all ya got?

You are getting to hear lots from me this week, the kids are away.

Anyway, I have become the meanest mom on Earth. But, good news. It has been working SO well.

The chores doubled, at least. My youngest one realized I was making the new chores and quickly volunteered for the “fun” ones, while his brother ignored me, so he got harder ones. Plus, he’s older, so this seems fair to me. He did however, volunteer to mow the front lawn. Well, he asked for the whole lawn, but, I believe the push mower out weights him, and the back yard has a decent size hill I don’t think he can manage. Not that we get any rain to make the grass grow anymore, but, he mows it weekly anyway.

He still has all the cat chores. I’ve gotten stricter about what counts as “clean” for their room. You should have seen the look on his face when he realized vacuuming is an everyday chore now.

Like I said before, cable got canceled. Video games are severely limited, right now, about the only thing they can play is Minecraft, and that is only for a little while.

I’ve banned the words “I’m bored”, otherwise, I’m sure I can find more chores…the kids caught on quick.

If the chores are done, at this point, they tend to be either riding their bikes, on the trampoline, or in the pool. I must say, we’ve only had the pool a couple weeks, but it was WELL worth the money. I think the boys maybe growing gills. There is definitely a benefit to having a small yard and a small house, the pool is pretty close to the house, and I can see it from all the rooms except my bedroom, which I don’t spent much time in during the day anyway. So, they can go out and swim, and I can still take care of things inside and see and hear them, as long as I have the windows open.

They have to be in their room at 8pm. I never said they had to go to sleep, but they have to be in there, winding down. They fought me on it, because it was still light, but, a majority of the time, they are both asleep before 8:30p. Well, I should say, the oldest one fought me on it, the little one didn’t, because he is my 6 yr old narcoleptic. I swear, if he stops moving for more than a minute, he falls asleep. He is asleep moments after buckling into a vehicle. If he is cranky, he will come to me and tell me he must need a nap. But, anyway, I think the more sleep is helping too.

Soccer started as well.  I have exhausted them into submission.

And, I’m exhausted! It is so much more work, and more boring, to make sure they are doing all they are supposed to, checking it, dealing with the once in awhile meltdown when I say they need to do it again because it wasn’t done right. I don’t like standing there watching my kid mow the lawn, especially when it takes him 3 times as long. But I can see how, when there are two working parents, this isn’t possible.

I felt bad originally, I mean, this has been such a change, maybe it is too much…then I thought about it. I remember mowing at his age, I remember having to help dad cut wood, in the wet mud and freezing cold, tossing it into the truck bed that was as tall as I am, then getting home, unloading the truck, throwing it all in the basement, THEN going to the basement and stacking it. Plus, cleaning up after my siblings. I have almost a dozen siblings, and we didn’t get a dishwasher until I was in my teens. Aussie used to have to take care of farm animals and was driving a tractor by the time he was 8. So, when I thought about it from that angle, I realized, this isn’t going to kill them, it isn’t bad for them.

Not only did I want this to help with behavior, but, they really are kinda spoiled, I don’t want them to grow up feeling entitled. But, like I said, they have bikes, a trampoline and a pool, we have several video game systems, they’ve been on 5 trips so far this year, I believe, with 2 or 3 more planned. I think if we just hand them everything, then I will really be creating little monsters.

Aside

Digging for facts is better exercise than jumping to conclusions

I hate when that happens!

Recently, my neighbor invited me over for a drink. As we talked, she asked if I still homeschooled the kids. I said I did. She started telling me how much they would like the local school, how her kids went there and they turned out fine, how they needed to learn to socialize, how I should send them to school so I could get a job and pull my own weight around here. (That last comment is going to be a future blog post)

I told her that the kids did practically nothing but socialize, they don’t know any strangers. Plus, they love being homeschooled, I don’t know that they would go if I tried. She then said “You are the mother, they don’t get to make the decisions, tell them they have to go so you can go get a job.”

Then, of course, she thows in the obligatory remark about how she knows this one homeschooling family, and they don’t really teach the kids, it’s just an excuse to be lazy, and their kids are extremely awkward. That most the people who homeschool are religious nuts who only do it so their kids aren’t exposed to anyone or anything that isn’t “right”.

On that last part, I know she has a point, that is the majority of people who chose to homeschool. In fact, that is why I was homeschooled. I do not think my siblings should be, I’m sorry. They are handed a couple text books at the  beginning of the year, and told to work in them until they are done. I don’t agree with that at all.

It aggravates me that there is such a stigma about it. It is to the point that the boyfriend and I rarely ever admit we were homeschooled, because we don’t want to be automatically grouped in with these people. So, unless it is somehow relevant to the conversation, you won’t hear us admit it. And, as far as the stereotypes go, I definitely consider him successful. I may not be doing anything to impress anybody, but, I’m able to stay home with the kids, which wasn’t my dream job, but it was what I wanted when we had them.

I know people, my mother for one, who will almost attack anyone for sending their kids to public school. She will tell them how horrible it is, and how she loves her kids too much to do that to them. And, I definitely think a lot of the criticism of homeschooling applies to her. But, for the most part, I am not going to say anything about how or where your kids go to school, so, why attack me over it?

The thing that gets me the most, is, the people most likely to jump all over my case about this are the least likely to care about actually looking into it. I was reading a study recently that showed that the average grades on standadized tests for public scholled students was 57%, I believe. The average for homeschooled and private schooled children was 87%.

Another thing addressed in the study that I found interesting was that homeschooling seemed to help eliminate some of the negative effects of certain socio-economic factors. That if the parents were poor and uneducated, their kids actually did BETTER being homeschooled than public schooled. Also interesting, to me, was that having one parent with a college degree teaching did help, it pushed kids from the 75th percentile to the 85th percentile. Still higher than most children in public school.

The whole study is here:

http://www.fraserinstitute.org/WorkArea/DownloadAsset.aspx?id=2953

Let me just say, I am not trying to put down parents who send their kids to public school. I am not. I think a large part of the disparity is the fact that if you are homeschooling your kid, you have more time and are more invested in their education. Most people don’t chose to do this so their kid can watch more tv. I think parents putting in the effort makes the difference, whether through homeschooling or through being involved in your kids life and education while they go to school.

If anyone who wanted to criticize me actually cared, they could see that, there is a lot of work and care that goes into this. Every Sunday night, I spend a few hours printing off that weeks school work, making copies where needed, separating everything into the days we need to do it, penciling in activities that will reinforce a concept. Trying to watch for where the boys are struggling and find things to help them. That sometimes the whole week gets rearranged because I realize one of them needs more than 2 days to learn this concept.When we go on trips, which is fairly often these days, the boys get worksheets about the states we visit, they get info sheets, I go to the library and find books about the states, about the history that happened there. They would see all the money that is spent on books and flash cards and various other things. They would see how much I LOVE doing this and how much the kids love it too.

When people complain about their lack of socialization, I wish they followed us for a week. They go to Lego playgroup at the library, they ride their bikes down the street and talk to anyone who is outside doing yard work, they play with the children of my friends, they go to the YMCA and play pool and air hockey with dozens of kids a week. They go to the pool and the splash park and always come back with stories about their new friends. They are in soccer. They go to church. At their dad’s house, the babysitter babysits 5 other kids besides the boys and their “step”sisters. They talk to the neighbors there as well, and volunteered to train the one lady’s new puppy. I spend half my day trying to stop the socialization! Meanwhile, the two little girls who live on either side of us aren’t allowed out to play, they sit in their windows and watch my kids play. I can hear them asking their moms if they can come over, and I honestly don’t care how many kids are here, but they have to stay inside and sit and watch my kids play.

I am not fanatical about this, if this stops working for us, then we will stop doing it. But right now, it’s working extremely well. Both boys have a step sister at their dad’s who is the same age, who go to public school, and I am able to keep up with what they are learning there, and my kids are right on track, and even ahead in some things. They aren’t awkward. I don’t shelter them. I am not religious, though Aussie is, so they are getting a bit of balance there. They are well behaved, I have had people ask us to go out so they can babysit! I just really hate that people are so quick to jump to conclusions.

Please, if you hear somebody say they homeschool their kids, talk about it. Ask questions. I know, I will willing talk about it all, as long as you aren’t acting like you are trying to trap me and prove this is bad.  As long as your kids are taken care of, I don’t care how you do it, so please don’t jump to the assumption that mine aren’t being taken care of.

Eta: I borrowed a book from the librarytoday, tips and tricks for homeschooling kinda thing, in the intro the author says she was determined to find out if homeschoolers were normal before she chose that for her son. She went to a convention and said that they were obviously not. They were polite and helpful, they didn’t wear baggy jeans, or weird haircuts, they didn’t have blue hair or peircings. And she decided she didn’t want “normal” kids, she wanted these kids. So, I suppose the assumptions go both ways. My sons have baggy jeans, as well as green or blue hair. They are extremely polite and helpful, but they have been asking to get an ear pierced, and the only thing stopping me is the tantrum their dad will throw.

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